Before I begin, I want to point out how difficult it was to write this post. Not because the topic is difficult, and not because I didn't know what to say, but rather... my stupid wireless network driver is broken. "Get an adapter." Too bad that broke, too. So now I'm operating on spottier-than-usual internet. Which means many, many drafts of this post never saw the light of day. Or night, because it's basically midnight now. Excuse the rushed nature of this post.
WHAT IS LOVE?
We, culturally, define love as any number of things. We throw it around casually, so much so that it really doesn't have much meaning anymore. I mean, do you really love cheesecake? Colloquially, probably yes, you absolutely adore cheesecake, but I find that in more... relational contexts, love has lost meaning.
The way we use it today, love is tangible and purchasable. It is material possessions, and any sort of visible, touchable display of affection. Without the diamond rings, love is nothing. It's not worth anything because there is no explicit value placed onto it. And to be frank, I totally get it.
To me, love is simply one thing: it's commitment. Commitment, however, is also hard to quantify. We want physical, tangible proof of love (commitment) because without it, it's hard to say just how much someone loves you. From the other side of the coin, giving something material, especially if it has value, is in some ways "proof" of love (commitment). To use a very simple example, if I were to buy a diamond necklace for someone, you better believe it's because I'm convinced that it's "worth it". But love isn't—and shouldn't—be about how much you get or how much you give. The commitment aspect, I think, is what it's really about.
To speak of love using examples, I think the easiest picture to paint would be that of dating and marriage. When two people choose to grow closer to each other, there is that sense of commitment that they will carry towards each other. Maybe that's what makes it so scary for people like me to ask anyone out. How can I be sure that this person is worth committing to? Since I would, in theory, just be dating, who's to say I should commit at all? Similarly, what's stopping this other person from not committing to the relationship anymore?
From a marriage standpoint, commitment also plays a huge role for me. I mean, not that I'm married. But in my delusions, I have often wondered what the institution of marriage means. We can look at statistics and easily point out the discrepancies between the marriage and divorce rates. Why is the divorce rate so high? While thinking about this, something dawned on me.
GIMME A SIGN
Given the type of society we live in, I don't think it's uncommon to think of oneself before others, no matter what type of relationship someone is in. When we enter into a relationship that turns sour, we are told that we don't need certain people in our lives—that we should burn some bridges. To a certain extent, I find that true, but we've become so sensitive to things happening around us that we end up burning bridges that should stay up, all because we believe we need to guard ourselves against the terrors of this world. Sometimes, we're right. Sometimes, we're wrong.
That said, after thinking about it more, I came to the conclusion that marriage, that is, devoting yourself "till death do you part", has lost some meaning because we are devoting ourselves to things that we see. We feel we know a person well enough to spend our lives with them, then down the road find out something we don't like and, well, burn those bridges. But, to me, marriage isn't committing to everything you know about a person, but rather you're making that commitment to say, "OK, I really love everything about you, as well as everything I don't know about you." Because, let's face it, you will never know someone as well as you believe you will.
So to wrap it all up, because I don't want to deal with my internet anymore, love is commitment. Love is commitment to everything you know, but more importantly, everything you don't. Love is committing to everything that has happened, and everything that will happen. It's responsibility, it's sacrifice, it's devotion. It's a process.
And since I'm not committed to fixing my internet, I can wholeheartedly say I don't love my laptop right now.
I'm sorry you had to read this LOL